Leading like Christ: A Coach’s Guide to RARE Leadership
Confetti never fell on my coach as we embraced in a hug. Our team never doused our coach with ice cold water in celebratory fashion. There are no memories of our coach giving a post game speech after a national championship. The success of my coach is not written on trophies displayed behind glass. Her greatest accomplishment is the character she helped develop in me and my teammates. Her leadership style was rare as she expertly balanced relational dynamics and a high expectation of excellence. This created a culture of joy and a safe environment to fail and try again in the pursuit of excellence. Like a greenhouse, this environment allowed me to grow the character roots necessary to carry on flourishing in life.
Coaches have great influence on a young person’s life – for better or worse. An ordinary coach will impact an athlete’s game. It takes a RARE coach to transform an athlete’s life. The secret of great coaching is great leadership. Good coaches can teach and manage game tactics and fundamentals. Great coaches leverage their influence to lead teams and athletes toward their full potential on and off the field.
What is a RARE Leader?
A RARE leader is one who remains relationally connected and emotionally aware while joyfully engaging those they are called to lead. For some coaches, knowledge of the game comes easier than relational adeptness or emotional intelligence – two skills needed for effective leadership. Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder wrote RARE Leadership with the hope of walking alongside Christian leaders who desire growth in these areas. Warner and Wilder challenge leaders to develop beyond managing a team to leading in such a way that cultivates joy, builds trust, increases engagement, and transforms others. Although the book is written primarily for Christian leaders within ministries and churches, the Christian coach can glean much wisdom from engaging with the content.
Dr. Warner is a former pastor and the president of Deeper Walk International. Dr. Wilder is a psychologist and self proclaimed ‘neuro-theologian.’ The coauthors combined Scripture, experience, and psychology to develop a framework for transformational leadership. Their commitment to both scripture and brain science along with practical habits is what sets them apart from thousands of other leadership development books.
4 Uncommon Habits for Increasing Trust, Joy, and Engagement
Sports science is a growing field and increasingly implemented as a tool for sports performance across varying levels of sport. RARE Leadership takes a similar approach. The framework and practices are developed from years of scientific and psychological research from Dr. Jim Wilder. The book is divided into two parts.The first half of the book is an in depth look into the brain science behind emotionally intelligent, transformational leadership. The second half of the book offers a practical guide to implementing life changing principles through habit building and relational skills.
As a coach, you know the importance of skill training. It’s the responsibility of each athlete to commit to training skills needed for elite performance. Coaches have a similar responsibility to develop their own set of skills for leadership. Rare Leadership can become a coach’s guide with each principle offering practical skills to develop and train to become a better leader. Warner and Wilder use the acronym RARE to structure their leadership framework: Remain relational. Act like yourself. Return to joy. Endure hardship well.
Remain Relational - “It’s important for me to keep focus on the main thing” a coach once told me. “The main thing” being relationships with players and desire to see their lives influenced by The Gospel – win or lose, this is the main focus of a Christian coach. Warner and Wilder challenge leaders with the same principle to value relationships over problem solving. Challenges often cause the relational side of the brain to shut down, elevating the problem over the relationship. Warner and Wilder encourage leaders not to avoid problems but seek to solve them in a relational way. Key strategies or skills include curiosity, appreciation, kindness, and envelope conversations. These four skills are meant to build joy in team culture while solving problems together. The balance of remaining relational while challenging others presents The Gospel in true form.
Act Like Yourself - As a Christian coach, you are most importantly a beloved child of God. Healthy leadership happens when coaches lead with authenticity and secure attachment to God. It becomes more natural to lead athletes in the area of identity formation when the coach is also growing into who God made them to be. Warner and Wilder give practical wisdom for developing personal identity in Christ that encourages leaders to remove the mask of performance and seek intimacy with God and others. Not only could this produce freedom in the heart of a coach – modeling secure identity could have a profound effect on athletes.
Return to Joy - I recently asked a group of professional athletes “what do you expect from a coach in terms of leadership?” The answer: consistency. Athletes perform best under coaches who lead consistently regardless of big emotions. Warner and Wilder remind leaders that emotional regulation begins with acknowledging that upsetting emotions (i.e. fear, anger, shame, despair) can exist without allowing them to control behavior or decision making. Practical wisdom walks leaders through a process of accepting the emotion, identifying triggers, and returning to joy. “Return to joy” skills can be trained by forming habit patterns, so when big emotions arise leaders remain consistent, not allowing emotions to run the show. This creates a culture of safety, belonging, and authenticity that can build emotionally honest and resilient teams.
Endure Hardships Well - Hardships are unavoidable in sport whether it’s dealing with team injuries, lack of resources, a losing streak, or some other inconsequential speed bump. During these times healthy, mature leaders are needed to navigate teams through suffering. Warner and Wilder use Jesus as a model for mature leadership in trials and suffering (Hebrews 12:2). As we grow in our Christ likeness, we also grow in our ability to handle life’s hardships. Training in the off season helps teams develop habits for when the true test comes in season. Practicing disciplines like gratitude, prayer, and scripture meditation regularly can produce the maturity needed to lead when seasons of suffering hit hard.
Become a RARE Leader
What would happen if coaches committed to training leadership skills that will consequently shape an environment conducive to producing high character people? Athletes need coaches who can lead – not just coach the game. RARE Leadership by Marcus Warner and Jim Wilder serves as a training guide for those looking to develop emotionally intelligent leadership skills. While the amount of information and number of practical habits of RARE Leadership can feel overwhelming, even a small amount of progress can be the difference between creating a culture of joy or a culture of fear. A relational leader fosters a joy-centered environment that profoundly influences everyone within it. The process of growing into a RARE leader is worth it.
Will training the 4 uncommon habits of a RARE leader create a successful program in terms of trophies? Possibly. Regardless, the training is worth the effort because success in the form of character formation does not gather dust behind display cases. It’s success that will last a lifetime and beyond.
A rare leader is who God called us to be and the impact is eternal.
