Starting a Parent Prayer Group for Your Kid's Team: Five Questions to Ask
I received an email from a parent over the weekend looking for resourcing at the intersection of faith and sport. I’m usually able to point people to something that’s already been written on the topic, but this was one that I haven’t touched on yet (surprisingly). Here is part of that email:
“My son will be a senior this coming year. He runs cross country and track. My wife and I have been talking for a while now about starting a prayer group for and with parents of the girls and boys cross and track teams. Our kids need to be prayed for, and I know parents need to be prayed for as well. It seems like a great way to support the kids and families on the teams. I’m wondering if you have any thoughts, experience, or guidance on how to go about starting a parent prayer group. I’m sure there is not a “right” way to do it, but if you’ve had experiences to share I’d love to learn from them.”
What I love about this Sport Parent Prayer Group is that it does (at least) four things:
It builds authentic community around one of the most effective and historically practiced spiritual disciplines: prayer.
It becomes a space where mature Christians, nominal Christians, and even those who don’t practice the faith can be invited in.
It provides prompting and accountability to pray for your own athlete, but also the other athletes on your kid’s team.
It offers sports families a gathered community where they can be vulnerable about what’s going on with people who “get it.”
There is not a manual for something like this, but there are some best practices and questions to answer before getting started to help launch this in the right direction. For the purposes of this resource, I am just going to work through this as if I am going to start the group myself—and hopefully there’s wisdom in my thought process that others can adapt and apply in their context.
Why These Groups Don’t Happen As Much As They Should
Before I get to the practical questions, I want to be honest about something: starting a parent prayer group can be…awkward. Not just logistically, but socially awkward and spiritually awkward. And if you go in without acknowledging that, you’ll probably be caught off guard when it shows up.
I work in sports ministry so I am usually the “Jesus guy” in the stands or on the sideline. And I know the moment I send that first message proposing a prayer group that some parents will quietly admire me for it, others will quietly categorize me (and maybe even report me to the AD!), and a few might even feel a low-grade pressure to perform or pretend.
The parents being invited into this space are united by one thing: a kid who plays. Some parents have deep faith, some have complicated histories with religion, and some have no framework for prayer at all. Starting a prayer group doesn’t make those differences disappear, but it most definitely puts you in close proximity to them.
Five Questions I’m Asking Before Starting a Parent Prayer Group
Before I start this group, there are five questions I’m asking myself:
1. Are we gathering together in a physical location as a group or are we prompting and praying on our own (or with our spouses) through digital reminders?
2. How often are we committing to pray? Once a week? Daily?
To get something like this started, you need clear expectations with initial low cost buy in. That’s not to say “prayer is not worth it.” It absolutely is. But you want as little friction/resistance possible on the front end to get people involved who already have little margin in their schedules.
I’m probably utilizing a messaging app like GroupMe or WhatsApp for my main communication platform because it’s familiar enough for most people to at least get a feel for it early on. But I still think there is benefit to gathering rhythmically as well. So, here is what I would propose.
Use the group messaging app for weekly promptings/prayer requests. Shoot out a prayer prompt on Sunday night or Monday morning to remind people to pray. An additional “gathering” option is to huddle up before competitions as parents and use some of that time, while you’re already together, to pray for each other and your kids. My wife and I often walk part of the cross country course, the track, or the field our kids are about to compete on and pray for them before the competition starts. But inviting others to join us would be mutually beneficial!
3. Are we inviting all of the parents at once or starting with who we think would say yes and then slowly adding more people over time?
In the initial planning stages, I am probably bringing in the parents who I am closest with on the team and asking if they would be excited about something like this. But I am still making the invitation available to every parent on the team. How it’s worded matters too. My message to the parents probably sounds something like:
“Hey parents, Brian here. I’m going to start being more intentional about praying for my son—and your kids too—on a weekly basis. The last thing I want to do is to pressure people into being a part of something like this, but I also want to make sure the offer is extended to everyone, even if your faith journey looks different than mine. So, what I am proposing is a parent prayer group that connects weekly over GroupMe and shares prayer requests and commits to praying for each other and our kids. I’ll attach the link below and I’ll give more details of what it would look like within that group I set up on the app.”
4. Speaking of time, what is the time commitment? Does it start and end with each season or does it just keep going?
I once asked the pastor of our church if he would start meeting with me weekly to disciple me. His response has always stuck with me. He said, “I’m willing to do this for 6 weeks.” He later told me that he’s always found it wise to put an end date on new initiatives as a natural stopping and reevaluating point. If it’s not going well, the agreed upon stopping date is a natural end to things. But if it’s building momentum and involved parties wanting to keep it going, it’s easier to extend it.
All that to say, I would make this seasonal. In this specific case, I would start it a few weeks before the season starts and end it when the season ends. And if parents want to keep it going after that, great. But this at least builds in expectation that honor people’s schedules and level of commitment on the front end.
5. Are we praying for the same thing(s) each time or do we change things up?
I imagine that a group like this is probably driven more by prayer requests that parents are submitting to the group throughout the week. And I would even make that an expected part of being in the group (that you would give specific prayer requests for yourself and your young athlete). But I still like the idea of having something each week that prompts people to pray. Here would be three start-of-the-week prayer promptings that you could give to the group:
This week’s theme is freedom. Let’s pray that our kids would learn to compete knowing that they are fully loved by us and by God. They don’t need to earn our affection and acceptance by their performance. Let’s pray that God would give us the words to say to help reinforce this perspective and the grace to implement it.
This week’s theme is coaches. Let’s pray for the coach(s), that God would use them to help our kids learn the sport in an environment that’s safe, fun, and challenging. Let’s pray that God would help give us words of encouragement that we can share with the coach about what we appreciate about them.
This week’s theme is character. Let’s pray that God would use this sport to help build Christlike character in our kids. Win or lose. Let’s pray that God would give us insight into our kid’s hearts and opportunities to ask good questions that will help draw them out.
Two Closing Thoughts
One, the vulnerability expressed in the group will be uneven. In a healthy small group, vulnerability develops over time through shared norms. In a sports parent group, you’re asking people to be open before that trust is fully built, which means some will appropriately dive in, others will be overly vulnerable and share too much, others will simply observe from a distance, and a few will share once, feel exposed, and go quiet. And I say all of that to just let you know it’s all normal when dealing with a large group of people who haven’t done this before.
Two, the coach dynamic is real. If the coach is unaware of what’s forming among parents, a prayer group can unintentionally create an “us versus them” culture. The last thing you want is for your coach to feel like a spiritual subculture is evaluating him or her from the bleachers and sidelines. This shouldn’t prevent you from moving forward, but you at least need to think about it before it happens.
Want a full season's worth of prayer prompts? Download the 12-Week Sports Parent Prayer Guide below. It has one theme per week, anchored in the bible, a prompt, and a personal prayer focus for each. While the content and ideation of the guide comes from our team, we utilized Claude to help format and create the PDF.
