Making Time Count: Quality vs. Quantity for the Christian Coach

It happened almost ten years ago, but I still remember it like it was yesterday. I was talking to a coach’s kid when they said something that stopped me in my tracks: “I get jealous of my dad’s team. He gets to spend so much time with them, and I feel like the leftovers.”

The truth is, coaches spend a lot of time with their athletes—but not every coach’s child feels seen or prioritized. While we may long for more time with our athletes, staff, and families, God often uses the quality of our presence more than the quantity of our time. You can spend hours with someone, but if you're not truly present, you're still missing the mark.

The principle we’re exploring is quality over quantity. While this idea applies across many areas of life, we’ll focus specifically on how to create meaningful, quality time with those around us—rather than simply accumulating hours. This principle not only shapes healthy relationships but also separates good coaches from great ones. And the Bible has a lot to say about it.

One quick note for the coach who doesn’t have a family: while this article is written with family in mind, these truths aren’t limited to parents or married coaches. You can apply the same principles to your relationships with athletes, staff, mentors, and friends. Don’t check out just because you don’t have a family or spouse. God may have something here for you too, if you’ll engage with purpose.

Time is Limited 

As a coach, your calendar often feels like it’s not your own. Between early practices, travel weekends, recruiting calls, film breakdowns, and game prep, the margins are razor-thin. And when you finally do get home, you're often running on fumes. You’re constantly pulled in a dozen directions. Sometimes, the people closest to you—like your spouse or kids—end up getting the least of you.

Time is limited. That’s not a flaw in your planning; it’s a reality of life and leadership. Psalm 90:12 says, “Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” That verse hits differently when your five-year-old asks if you’ll be home for dinner, or your spouse wonders if you can have an uninterrupted conversation. The point isn’t guilt—it’s wisdom. If we don’t learn to number our days, we’ll spend them without purpose, and the people God has entrusted to us may begin to feel like afterthoughts rather than priorities.

We can't do it all. Even Jesus, during His time on earth, didn’t meet every need or heal every person. He lived within the limits of time and space while at the same time being perfectly faithful within them.

The same is true for us. You may not be able to give your family as much time as you’d like, but what you can give, when offered with presence and love, can be deeply meaningful and spiritually formative. Faithfulness doesn’t always look like more hours; it often looks like full attention.

Debunking the Myth: More Time = Better Results

There’s a myth that floats around both the coaching world and our culture: if you just had more time, you’d be a better spouse, parent, mentor, friend, or coach. It’s the idea that results are directly tied to hours logged. More hours equals more impact - or so we’re told.

But coaches know this isn’t always true. You’ve probably had athletes who spent hours in the gym and barely improved, while others made major strides with just a few focused, intentional tweaks. It’s not just about the amount of time; it’s about the quality of that time.

Jesus shows us this over and over. Think about Luke 10:38–42, when He visits the home of Mary and Martha. Martha is hustling around, trying to make everything perfect. Mary is sitting at Jesus’ feet, simply listening. And Jesus praises Mary—not because she did more, but because she was fully present. “Mary has chosen what is better,” He says. The better way wasn’t more activity, but deeper presence.

We often assume that we need long weekends or perfect conditions to be truly present with our families or athletes. But the most impactful moments are often short, ordinary, even unplanned: the ride home from a game, a quick check-in after practice, reading a book at bedtime, or showing up for a 10-minute chat between classes.

Characteristics of Quality Time

So what actually makes time “quality”? If we’re not measuring by quantity, what are we aiming for? Quality time isn’t just about being in the same room—it’s about being fully there. And for coaches, that can be a real challenge. Your mind is often running through game plans, recruiting lists, or team issues, even when your body is at home.

Here are a few key markers of quality time—especially with your family, though they apply to athletes and staff as well:

Presence Without Distraction

Put the phone away. Keep the computer in your bag. Turn off the game film. Forget about the recruits for a moment. Quality time starts with full attention: eye contact, listening, unhurried conversation—even if it’s only for a few minutes. This kind of presence tells your spouse or child, “You matter more than anything else right now.” This is how God interacts with you, and He wants us to engage with others the same way.

Intentional Engagement

You don’t have to plan elaborate outings. Sometimes it’s simply asking good questions at the dinner table or walking the dog together with a purpose to connect. It’s about choosing to engage, not just co-exist. Just as you intentionally plan your practices and workouts, intentionally plan your time with the people who matter most.

Emotional Availability

Many coaches are great at controlling emotions on the court or field but struggle to share them at home. Let your family see the real you. Vulnerability builds trust and depth. Your kids don’t need a perfect parent—they need an authentic one. When you make a mistake, own it. When your child does something good, encourage it. When you’re having fun, laugh.

How to Create Quality Time 

As a coach, your schedule won’t magically open up. But that doesn’t mean you’re powerless. With intentionality and a few small shifts, you can make meaningful time with your family (and others) even in the busiest seasons. Here are three practical ways to do it:

1. Own the Transitions

You may not be home for long stretches, but transitions—coming home from practice, riding in the car, walking to the locker room—can be powerful moments. Don’t waste them. Use them to check in, listen, pray, or share a quick story from your day.

Coaches often use car rides to catch up on work, call recruits, or think through practice plans. But what would it look like to use those rides to reflect on how you can be intentional with your family? I know a coach who, between meetings, thinks of a question to ask his kids when he gets home. He jots it down on his phone so he doesn’t forget. Another coach takes time during his commute to decompress from the day so he can walk through the door ready to engage with everything he has.

Are you owning your transitions and using that time well, or are you just going through the motions and moving on to the next thing?

2. Give First Attention, Not Leftovers

When you walk in the door, give your family your first focus—not what’s left after checking your phone or decompressing from practice. It doesn’t have to be long—just intentional. Five to ten minutes of focused connection can speak volumes.

What would it mean to your family if you spent the first fifteen minutes after getting home intentionally engaging your spouse or playing with your kids? Instead of jumping right back into work, you’d be communicating with your presence: You matter more.

3. Schedule Small but Consistent Rhythms

Quality time doesn’t always mean big gestures. Regular, simple rhythms - like Thursday breakfast with your daughter or a weekly walk with your spouse - build connection over time. They don’t have to be long; they just need to be consistent and prioritized.

I know many coaches, even at the Division I level, who prioritize being home in the mornings to help get their kids off to school. Others make time for weekly or monthly one-on-one moments with each of their kids, just to show them they’re loved and valued. These rhythms aren’t long, but they are impactful and they’re shaping family dynamics.

Faithfulness Over Flash

You may never feel like you have enough time. Coaching demands too much. Life moves too fast. And yet, the invitation of Jesus isn’t to do more. It’s to be faithful with what you’ve been given.

Whether it’s five minutes in the car, a short prayer before bed, or a conversation during warm-ups, the Holy Spirit can use your presence to plant seeds that grow far beyond what you can see.

We never see Jesus rushing. He was rarely in a hurry, yet always on time. His impact didn’t come from how much He did, but from how fully He engaged with the people God put in front of Him. That same kind of faithful presence is available to you as a coach, spouse, parent, or friend.

You can’t give everyone all your time, but you can give them your best time. And when you do, you reflect the heart of a God who is never too busy to be fully present with us.

You don’t need more hours. You need to show up with your heart.